Bitter Blissfulness
by Chocolate-Covered-Coffee-Beans
Summary: Do I get to keep you this time? Hitomi whispered to Van's sleeping figure. Before she could stop herself tears began to warm her eyes....10 years after the series. fluff
1. Chapter 1

**Bitter Blissfullness**

**Prologue **

Van gazed out onto the courtyard, looking at nothing in particular. Just enjoying the scenery. He watched with amusement as his little son bounced playfully through the lovely flower gardens, carefully sculpted to perfection before him. His giggle was so innocent and happy as he scooped up as many tiny pale yellow flowers into his chubby arms as he could. Van smiled to himself. His son was the splitting image of his brother Folken with that tiny head of silvery locks. He was cute as a button. Always running around with a grin splitting over his adorable chubby cheeks. The tiny little boy ran clumsily, almost tripping over his armful of flowers towards his mother. Van's wife. Her deep burgundy hair flowed down over her dress and onto the lush grass as she bent down gracefully to collect the flowers her son offered. She was elegant and beautiful with deep blue eyes and rosy cheeks.

Van felt very isolated sitting on the porch just watching them. He loved his wife and son, well he thought he did but he just didn't feel complete. He didn't chose to marry her, his country did. He owed it to them. To give him a heir and to tie Fanalia to Basram. At the age of 21 he was married off. It was very much a political marriage. She was a princess and he was a king. The perfect match right? It just didn't feel right to him. He really didn't feel and real love for her and neither did she. Her smiled seemed forced and she seemed stiff and awkward around him. There was also the fact it wasn't too much of a secret that she often spent time with a certain nobleman she always battered her eyelashes at during meals. Frankly, it embarrassed him. He just had no idea how he was supposed to handle a situation like that. All the nobles gossiped about it. He pretended he had no idea what was going on. The truth hurt.

" And who do we have here?" Van asked as the tiny bundle of his son clambered onto his lap. The little boy smiled fondly up at him with his mother's cool blue eyes. He giggled in pure delight as Van tickled his round belly. The little tyke closed his eyes in a cute type of bliss. Amidst all the soft chuckles his son handed him a single lone yellow flower. Van accepted his humble offering with smiles of fondness. With a big grin on his face the little prince reached up to weave his small fingers through Van's thick ink-black hair. Once Van's hair had been thoroughly explored he toyed with Van's nose. The little boy's eyes dazzled with light and enjoyment. Van had the patience of a saint. He sat back and let his son poke and prod to his heart's content.

Van felt a soft presence behind him. " My lord, I am going to retire early to my chamber. I bid thee good-night." His wife's tone was regal and proper.

Van nodded and gently removed his son's hands from his ears. " As for you my prince, I think it's time for bed." He whispered quietly. Van smirked playfully at his boy and lifted him up over his head. That caused another tiny eruption of giggles. The little prince grinned from ear to ear as his father stood up and began spinning him around in the process. His wife stood quietly and calmly, waiting for him to finish. With another smile for his son, Van handed him over to his mother. Her expression never wavered or faltered. Gathering her son into her arms she made a polite curtsy. Van smiled warmly and bowed. He really didn't see why this was necessary.

" Have a restful night my Queen." There was no love in those cold blue eyes. He completely understood why. He watched her gracefully stride away into the castle to her own quarters. Even after four years of marriage, she still insisted that she should have her own room. He didn't protest. She felt the same way he did about their marriage. He sighed deeply. _Even Kings aren't always happy._ Looking up longingly to the sky, the mystic moon was as distant as ever. _it's been ten years…I wonder how she's doing?_ He always wondered about Hitomi. Van lightly touched the red pendant dangling from his neck. He never took it off. It was his keepsake from Hitomi. The only real love he'd ever known. " Hitomi…" Her name was carried off by a warm breeze sifting through the courtyard. He hoped that wherever she was that she was happy. Looking deep inside himself though he knew that he wasn't.

**To be continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Bitter Blissfulness--**

**Chapter Three**

"Lord Van? Oh there you are Lord Van!" Merle peeked around the corner of the porch in curiosity, she was a cat-girl after all. A wide delicately pointy grin was plastered over her face. He beamed happily back at her. 10 years had changed her from a cute girl of thirteen into a beautiful and talented woman of twenty-three. Her vibrant pink waist-length hair was clasped back into a loose ponytail. It waved in semi-formed ringlets down her back. Merle's dress was knee-length as always but it was more refined and elegant despite the worn leather belt clinging off her hips.

"Merle, I'm glad to have you back. How was your trip?" Merle purred loudly and gave him one of her famous hugs.

"It was wonderful Lord Van. I did some more paintings. Austuria's ocean was so inspiring. I painted some for you, that is if you want them." Merle had become an exceptional artist over the years. She was very talented with a paintbrush.

"I would love to have them Merle. I'll hang them up along with all the other ones." He had quite the collection. Merle did everything from portraits of people to landscapes of the Fanalian forests. Van had dozens of her paintings hanging along the hallway walls of the castle.

"So, how's that little boy of mine? I'm sure he missed his Aunty." Merle enjoyed seeing Van's face go soft and fatherly when she mentioned his son. _I always knew he would make a good father._

"Yeah, he did Merle. He cried all night after you left. He's very fond of you."

She laughed at that. " I've missed the little tyke too. Is he around? I brought him something back." Merle produced a little polished gem from inside her belt pouch around her waist.

"No Merle, he's probably asleep. The queen is putting him to bed right now as we speak."

Her eyes went wide. "He's with her? Right now?" Alarm sharpened her voice. Her tone caught his attention. He immediately became concerned.

"Yes, she always puts him to bed. Is something wrong Merle?" Van's eyes darted in the direction of the queen's room.

Merle stepped out in front of him. "No, it's nothing really. I'll give it to him tomorrow. You should go to sleep. You look exhausted.." She shifted from side to side each time Van tried to look around her.

"I'll just check on them on my way to bed." He stated with slight suspicion.

Merle gave out a tiny squeal and she grabbed the sleeve of his shirt, stopping him in his tracks. " Please don't Lord Van. Please. I'm sure they're fine." Her eyes pleaded up at him.

"Merle…" Van was starting to get annoyed with her antics. He unhinged Merle's paint stained hands from his shirt and made his way quickly into the castle. Merle's ears drooped with anxiety and sadness. _What he finds is gonna break his heart._

Van's boots made echoing taps on the wooden floors. His head turned in anticipation around the corner. Van's breath escaped him. His eyes and mouth opened wide in disbelief. In the hallway stood his wife…and she wasn't alone. There was a man standing there with her, engaging her in a very passionate kiss.

She froze...

Leaning back from the man she looked at Van with a look of horror on her face.

"How could you?" Was all he could stammer out. He felt so hurt. He knew about the other man already but actually seeing this happen right in front of him. How could he describe the emptiness that was engulfing him? He couldn't pretend anymore. _This marriage is a lie, it's a fake. The foundation of this marriage is duty not love. _

In desperation, she reached out towards him, her lips puckered into a sad frown. "My Lord….I can…I can explain."

He didn't want to hear it. " There is no need too." Rage was bubbling up within him. Pivoting on his heels he stormed off.

He ran. He was running away from this horrible situation. Van put all his focus into every pounding step he slammed into the floorboards. He was trying to run away from himself and his past.

"LORD VAN!" Tears were welling up in Merle's eyes. She stood waiting in lonely hallway, awaiting the enviable. Van didn't stop running, on the contrary Merle's presence made him want to go faster.

"Wait Lord Van! Come back! Lord Van!" He didn't respond. He didn't care. Merle sat down in a hopeless heap. She wept for him. She knew how horrible he had to be feeling.

Out in the empty courtyard Van felt tears sting his eyes. He knew that this might happen. _This loveless marriage, I should of never agreed to it! _Van felt ashamed but he knew that it wasn't his fault. _I didn't do anything to deserve this. _He crunched his gloved hand into a tight fist. _How can I escape this cursed fate?_ The last thing he wanted to do was go back to the castle at the present moment.

"I wish…" He started to mumble to himself. _No, I can't wish. It wouldn't be right. _He clasped a hand around his pendant. _I promised myself that I wouldn't. _Without realising it he started to grind his teeth in frustration. Hearing his teeth clash against one another, he stopped himself.

_I'm way to stressed…_Deciding he needed more time alone just to think by himself, Van trudged off deeper into the courtyard. Everything was way too quiet, calm, and serene. It agitated him instead of calming him down. He couldn't keep his focus.

The mystic moon glared down at him, and plagued his thoughts. _If I could just see Hitomi one last time_. He gave his pendant a considering look. _To get a break from this…To see her face again. I've always wondered how she's doing. _His mouth curved into a smile as the pendant started to glow around his neck. _Yes, I'll pay her a visit and tell her that I've missed her. _Truly he did. Her absence had created this hole inside him. A hole he didn't know how to fill up_. I wish to go to the mystic moon. I wish to see her again. Please take me there. I need to see her again. _The pendant slowly lifted off his chest and suspended itself into the air. The hazy red glow around it became fuller, redder, and larger. He felt the hairs on his arms prickle as the air became icy around him. A blinding white light swarmed around him and tugged him gracefully off his feet. Van's smile was one of pure happiness. He watched with no regret as the courtyard became smaller and smaller.

Merle burst out into the castle courtyard calling out his name to no end. Her eyes filled with the white light and she stopped calling. She understood. Merle waved up at him with a bitter-sweet smile on her face. Tears blinded her vision but she didn't care anymore. She was happy for him.

"Lord Van, you wanted to see her again didn't you?" Her whisper was softer than velvet.

"Just tell her I said hi." Her bottom lip curled in a whimper. _I wish you could take me too._ Slippery tears ran down her cheeks anew.

"I promise I'll take care of him for you. I promise."

Merle hugged herself for warmth. The blue light vanished leaving her feeling alone and very cold._I_ w_ill see you again won't I?_

**To be continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Bitter Blissfulness**

**Chapter--two**

With a groan, Van shifted himself into a sitting position. The earth felt crusty and rough under his hand. He looked down at the ground in wonder. It was so unnaturally flat and grey. The new smells of car exhaust and smoke made his stomach feel like emptying. Everything seemed so strange to him, just like the last time he was here. A fake white light blinded his vision. Van lifted his arm to shield his eyes and squinted at his surroundings. He found himself on a sidewalk nestled in suburbia.

Blinking slightly in confusion, Van pushed himself off the grimy sidewalk. The street was so quiet and still. The setting sun made everything seem eerie. There was also no sight of Hitomi. _How am I going to find her? _Suddenly all the houses around him seemed overwhelming. He couldn't search them all, it would take to long. He'd almost given up when he saw two girls walking down the street towards him, wearing the same school uniforms Hitomi wore. Their strange glances said it all. He was defiantly different. Their eyes kept flickering to the sword resting at his side. The two girls went out of their way to swerve onto the road, off the sidewalk to avoid him. He didn't take it too personally. He probably looked like shit. Looking down, he saw that his shirt and pants were extremely wrinkled looking. As for his hair, well it always looked messy. Despite his scruffy appearance, Van tried looking friendly.

"Dose Hitomi live around here?" In fear, they clutched their books closer to themselves. You would of thought he'd said "Boo". Nervously they shook their heads and quickly scurried away. Van sighed with exasperation. He did try. Frowning to himself, he headed out in the opposite direction the girls were going. No need to scare them again. Quietly, he meandered down the street. People gave him dirty glares as he walked by but Van held his head high and ignored them. Shortly, he found himself at the outskirts of a park. The trees were shrubs compared to Fanalia's but they were softer on the eyes than the bland sidewalk. He parked himself down on an empty bench, hands clasping the sides of his head with his elbows resting on his knees. Hunched over, he studied the grass at his feet. At this rate he'd never find her.

That's when he heard laughter. Carefree laughter. It echoed down the path. "Come on Yukari. You were the one who wanted to come jogging with me, so you can at least try to keep up." Van buried his face into his lap. _Great, now I'm hearing things. I thought I heard Hitomi's voice…_

"Hitomi, wait! I need a break. Could you wait just a second?" Yukari panted, desperate for a break. Hitomi laughed and came to a halt.

"Okay, but just for a bit. You used to be better at this when we were younger."

Van shook his head, slightly in astonishment. _Hitomi? _Slowly he sat up straight and looked out ahead of him in frantic search. There she was. She was just a stone's throw away from him. His heart leapt for joy. She looked almost exactly like she did ten years ago. Only older. Her hair was still cropped short, and her eyes were still the same vibrant green. Hitomi sat down on the plush grass beside her friend. Yukari looked breathless while Hitomi looked very content, if only just a bit tired. "It's been awhile since high-school, that's for sure." Yukari took a swig from her water bottle and as an afterthought, she handed it to Hitomi. She smiled in thanks.

"Yeah, it has been awhile." She rocked the bottle back and forth in-between her hands, listening to the swishing sounds it made. Van felt like he was in a trance. For now, he was content just to watch her.

"I can't believe that you've stuck with your running this long, Hitomi. You're amazing to watch. You look so focused out there, you know? I wonder what keeps you going."

Hitomi looked down in embarrassment. "You're too much." She brushed invisible lint off her jogging pants.

Yukari giggled. "Don't be so modest. You're really good at running. I can't even see how you manage to train with your busy schedule."

Hitomi shot her friend an amused look mixed with slight irritation. "Yukari…" Yukari continued to chatter on. Hitomi sort of zoned out. Instead of paying attention, her eyes wandered around the park. _It's been ten years since I've left. I wonder how he's doing._

Her chest heaved with a sigh. That's when something caught her eye. Plain dark burgundy boots, cut in a peculiar fashion. Her gaze swept up to see pale brown pants and a dusty red shirt laced up with leather twine. Both looked slightly rumpled. Her throat snagged with a gasp when her eyes met his. _Van?_

"What's wrong Hitomi?" Yukari waved a hand in front of Hitomi's face to get her attention.

"Nothing." She tried averting her gaze but it was an impossible task. She sat there, dumfounded looking right at him. _This can't be real. I must be seeing things._

"Do you know him Hitomi? The one with the strange clothes. Why are you staring like that? Hitomi!" Lightly she shook her shoulder.

"I think I do…" Van started to smile. It was a shy smile at first but it progressed into a toothy smile.

"Hitomi it's getting late. Amano is probably wondering where I am. We should get going." Yukari stood up and motioned for Hitomi to do the same. She looked down with annoyance when Hitomi just sat there. "Hitomi!" She placed her hands onto her hips and shifted her weight to one foot.

"I think I'll stay a bit longer."

Yukari sighed and glanced over again at the strange man sitting on the bench. "Well, see you later then. I'll call you sometime tomorrow, after work." Yukari shook her head when Hitomi didn't even look up. She was smiling like an idiot at that guy who was grinning back _Who exactly is he? She's got strange tastes in men, that's for sure. _She smiled at the thought of Hitomi secretly seeing someone. It just wasn't like her. _It's been awhile since she's dated anyone seriously. The way these two are smiling at each other you would think that they'd found true love. _Yukari shrugged._ Guess it's possible._ Her absence went unnoticed. Not a big surprise.

Hitomi was waiting for someone to pinch her…hard. _Yukari can see him, so he must be real._ Cautiously she got up, and began to walk over towards him. _Why is he here?_ Uncertainty clouded all possible answers. She took her time in walking to him, no hurry right? Van stood up off the bench. He towered over her. Over the years he had became quite tall. He looked so welcoming standing in front of the green background of the park with his arms spread out wide, ready for an embrace. His smile lit up his deep penetrating eyes. Hitomi gladly accepted his embrace. She was so glad she felt like crying but for some odd reason she began to laugh. So did he.

"Hitomi, I had to come back. I wanted to see you again." His voice was a gentle calming wave. She held him closer.

"It's good to see you again. I've missed you." A passer-by cleared her throat. Hitomi flushed pink and backed away. Van stepped forward. He didn't seem to care what other people thought

"Why did you come here again Van?" She knew it was a stupid question to ask, but she felt like asking it anyways.

He shrugged "A couple reasons…" He didn't feel like giving her a straight answer.

"How is everyone? Is everything okay?"

He nodded but he still looked sad. "Everything's fine. It's just been stressful lately. I thought that I'd come see you again."

She looked at him with concern and held out her hand. "Must be stressful being King. Tell you what, you can stay with me for a bit and tell me all about it.

He smiled with relief and took her hand. "Thanks Hitomi…" He lightly mumbled.

"It's no problem." She smiled back and lead him out towards the parking lot.

**To be continued...**


End file.
